Some of the leaves are brown and the sky is gray.

For the first time in a long while, I miss California. I don't normally say that because I usually don't. I have a great job and my kids live here in New York. I love the change in seasons. Right now the colors are amazing, during my weekly drives to Albany a get a taste of the beauty and wonder that is central New York. I love the cool weather which allows me to wear sweaters without the risk of heat stroke. So why the longing for home?
This past weekend was my high school's 20yr reunion. Yup 20 years. I cannot believe I can say that-20 years since I was in high school. I missed the 10th and had every intention of going to the 20th until a few weeks ago. Seeing the pictures and reading the posts on facebook have made me EXTREMELY homesick. Seriously this is the 1st time since living here that I have felt this way. I miss the desert. The palm trees. Rincon Norteño. Keedy's. Pollo Dieta. Seeing REAL mountains towering all around me--the snow a safe distance away. Fruit, good fruit, whenever I want it. Date Shakes. Plus there are just general California things I want and can't get here-Carls' Jr, Jack in the Box tacos and ohhh In-N-Out. I would kill for a double double right now.
Most of the people I interact with right now are online, from California via facebook or text. Pathetic? Perhaps but after 5 years I have come to realize that I have very little in common with the people that live here (there are one or two exceptions of course) but generally my level of interaction stops after a few initial pleasantries. This is not from a lack of effort, just a difference in attitudes and commonalities. I have found that overall, the people I have a significant friendship with are not from here (with the exception of one or two people) whereas the people I speak with in California, well it seems like they get me. Even across the distances I feel closer to them than before.
Finally, I have been watching the show "Californication" recently. Sometimes I feel like Hank Moody, but in reverse (oh and minus the abundant sex, booze, drugs). The bi-coastal transplant trying to make sense of life, love, and his family. I have kids who despite my failings love me. I have an odd relationship with their mother. I have some of what I thought I wanted yet I am still missing something.

So yes all this has served to bring me down today and wax nostalgic for home. Heck even Law and Order has moved to California! I have deleted "New York state of mind" from my playlist and have put it on a continuous repeat of "California Dreamin" and "California Girls". I have taken a mental day, and will dream of sunshine, fresh oranges, and palm trees.