Well I saw someone else

Well I saw someone else do it so I did it too, I am able to blog via my phone now. How cool is that??

does this work??

does this work??

La muerte y los tamales

Death. What exactly is it about it that scares people, why do people make such a huge deal. Just so you know both of my parents are dead. My father died in 1998 of Pancreatic Cancer. My mother died in 2003 from diabetes complications. I lost both of my parents before I was 30 yrs old.
What brings this to mind? Well recently I have read several blogs where people are mentioning the death of a loved one. A few of these are recent deaths, the death of a grandparent or the death of a longtime friend. A few of these though happened a while ago and people are reminiscing on the “anniversary” of the death, I don’t mean to be insensitive but I often wonder why? Why obsess? Why get sad? Why begin on how tough it’s been and how emotional and stuff? Especially now that they’ve been dead for a while. I give my sister’s brother in law as an example, he made his family change their name when his father died, they refuse to celebrate certain family occasions because “Gunther is no longer there”—dude he died like 10 years ago! Get over it.
I have read a few blogs and that talk about how tough it is to get through the week because it’s been 1 yr, 5 yrs, 20 yrs since ______ died, why is it tough? Seriously why? Were you ALWAYS with them on this date? Just because they died does that make it somehow different? Please understand that I have lost both parents, the death of my mother is coming up. March 13th it will be 6 years. Will next week be tough? Not really. Will I not know how to make it? Not really. Am I an insensitive ass? Not really.
Whatever you may or may not believe death is a part of existence. There is no way to avoid it, we all die. Do we mourn the loss? Of course. Do we miss the people? Yes. Do I wish my parents were still around? Sometimes. Do I obsess over it? I don’t think so.
I ask what good would it do? They are a part of me and I feel that I honor them every day by what I do and how I live my life. If I have any regrets then those are mine and trust me I have dealt with them in my own way. Part of my attitude comes from my Mormon upbringing, the thought that someday we will be together again. Another part though I think is cultural, and even my parents’ attitudes to death which are based on Hispanic culture. That knowledge and belief that death is a natural part of existence, not to be feared but to be accepted and embraced, those who are dead are now facing other challenges and trials. If we want to remember and honor them then there is November 2nd—dia de los muertos, day of the dead. You get together at the cemetery and have a party through the night to honor the life and memory of that person. Yes a PARTY. Food, music and what not at the cemetery. So this week I will do my thing, and more than likely I will forget about my mother’s death unless someone mentions this post or makes a comment, seriously. It will not be an emotional burden, I will not ponder her life and everything I SHOULD have done or how her presence is missed. Life is life and I am sure that my parents are somewhere doing something like they always did. If I want a real remembrance, then you will find me at the cemetery partying on the night of November 2nd.

Bachelor Pad

I finished moving all my things into my new apartment this weekend. While not the biggest place, it is rather roomy and I didn't realize it would feel this nice to have a place that was ALL MINE--no roommates (sorry Steve n Smokey), no family (sorry guys), no wife (sorry Amy), no kids (well on weekends).
What's fun about living on my own now that I am in my 30's as opposed to earlier in life is that I have a pretty decent job and despite certain financial obligations, I think this place will be screaming "Bachelor Pad" within a few weeks--plasma screen, surround sound, PS 3, mini bar, disco ball hanging from the ceiling, as opposed to having to scrounge things from Salvation Army like I did in my college/grad school years.
So the next time you happen to find yourself in Central New York, stop on in "casa de los Santos" is always open.

Being Stalked

Ok so maybe not a stalker but as I mentioned I did receive a threat at my office about 2 weeks ago.
Well Wednesday while I was out teaching three redneckish looking types (sorry Jess) in a truck came to where I live and totally scared my landlord screaming obscenities and claiming that it was my fault his (the guy I assume made the previous threat) girlfriend won't talk to him anymore. My landlord said they were young guys and it was only one who was trying to get into my place demanding to know where I was and that he reeked of liquor. Fortunately I was already scheduled to move out into a place of my own ( I have a roommate now) so it seems rather fortuitous that I was able to already have somewhere to go.
This of course has left me angry and with the urge to announce to my classes "If there is anyone here who has a psycho boyfriend, a psycho ex boyfriend, or a psycho who wants to hook up with you please, please drop my class now!"

Stuff

For those of you who are my Facebook friends, I did not delete you. I deactivated my account. I received an anonymous threat at my office last week, it mentioned some of the stuff I posted on facebook so to be safe I deactivated my account for a while.

Normally Tax time is a happy time because I have always gotten SOMETHING back. Well for the 1st time EVER, I owe taxes. Yep kids, a home nothing saved me this time. I guess I will ask for a pay cut or something right? Or maybe I'll just walk into a Chrysler dealership and drive off in a Town and Country because after all, it is MY MONEY that is keeping them in business.

Finally another 1st, I am finally moving into my own place. I am 36 years old and I will finally live alone. even though I left home a long time ago I have always lived with roommates or my wife and kids. Since the separation I have been renting a room but I think I finally am ready to venture out on my own.

Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what's to come. But that night, I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come. The thing is, we didn't have to hate each other for getting older. We just had to forgive ourselves... for growing up.
--Kevin, The Wonder Years

I've been tagged, so here are my answers.

20 Years Ago....
1. I was 16 years old.
2. I was in the 11th grade.
3. I had a crush on Emily.
4. I was living in Palm Desert, California at 74295 Goleta.

10 Years Ago....
1. I graduated from BYU with a BA in History.
2. I worked at the MTC.
3. I moved to San Diego.
4. My dad died.

5 Years Ago....
1. I was married to Amy.
2. I had 2 kids, Rachel, 3 and Roman, 1.
3. I was in my 2nd year of teaching @ CVHS.
4. My mom died.

3 Years Ago....
1. I finished my MA in Spanish from SDSU.
2. I got a job doing what I always wanted.
3. I packed up my family and moved them across the country to NY.
4. I experienced my first “real” winter.

1 Year Ago....
1. My wife and I separated
2. I had been working at MVCC for 2 years
3. I was still hurting
4. I got my “mojo” back ;)

So far this year....
1. I went to Spain, AGAIN.
2. I’ve met some amazing people.
3. I've been through hell and back
4. Have re-connected with the amazing people I went to high school with.

Yesterday I.....
1. Spent X-mas with my kids
2. Watched “Valkyrie”
3. Tried to sleep in

Today I.....
1. Went shopping
2. Took a HOT shower.
3. Did laundry
4. Spent time with the kids

In the next year I'll.....
1. Teach fewer classes
2. Go to Italy
3. Meet someone who I can spend time with?
4. Attend a conference