Death. What exactly is it about it that scares people, why do people make such a huge deal. Just so you know both of my parents are dead. My father died in 1998 of Pancreatic Cancer. My mother died in 2003 from diabetes complications. I lost both of my parents before I was 30 yrs old.
What brings this to mind? Well recently I have read several blogs where people are mentioning the death of a loved one. A few of these are recent deaths, the death of a grandparent or the death of a longtime friend. A few of these though happened a while ago and people are reminiscing on the “anniversary” of the death, I don’t mean to be insensitive but I often wonder why? Why obsess? Why get sad? Why begin on how tough it’s been and how emotional and stuff? Especially now that they’ve been dead for a while. I give my sister’s brother in law as an example, he made his family change their name when his father died, they refuse to celebrate certain family occasions because “Gunther is no longer there”—dude he died like 10 years ago! Get over it.
I have read a few blogs and that talk about how tough it is to get through the week because it’s been 1 yr, 5 yrs, 20 yrs since ______ died, why is it tough? Seriously why? Were you ALWAYS with them on this date? Just because they died does that make it somehow different? Please understand that I have lost both parents, the death of my mother is coming up. March 13th it will be 6 years. Will next week be tough? Not really. Will I not know how to make it? Not really. Am I an insensitive ass? Not really.
Whatever you may or may not believe death is a part of existence. There is no way to avoid it, we all die. Do we mourn the loss? Of course. Do we miss the people? Yes. Do I wish my parents were still around? Sometimes. Do I obsess over it? I don’t think so.
I ask what good would it do? They are a part of me and I feel that I honor them every day by what I do and how I live my life. If I have any regrets then those are mine and trust me I have dealt with them in my own way. Part of my attitude comes from my Mormon upbringing, the thought that someday we will be together again. Another part though I think is cultural, and even my parents’ attitudes to death which are based on Hispanic culture. That knowledge and belief that death is a natural part of existence, not to be feared but to be accepted and embraced, those who are dead are now facing other challenges and trials. If we want to remember and honor them then there is November 2nd—dia de los muertos, day of the dead. You get together at the cemetery and have a party through the night to honor the life and memory of that person. Yes a PARTY. Food, music and what not at the cemetery. So this week I will do my thing, and more than likely I will forget about my mother’s death unless someone mentions this post or makes a comment, seriously. It will not be an emotional burden, I will not ponder her life and everything I SHOULD have done or how her presence is missed. Life is life and I am sure that my parents are somewhere doing something like they always did. If I want a real remembrance, then you will find me at the cemetery partying on the night of November 2nd.
